To Masters: Some things to do with your female slaves VII  (11/30/98)
	JKay wrote: I am not so sure what would happen to most of you if you didn't have the opportunity now and then to bitch and moan endlessly on who is clueless, a clueless, you have plonked or killfiled lately, who posted stuff you find vile and disgusting and are totally in disagreement with, was a bad speller and poor grammer user - I mean really - is SSBB really an acronym for: snort, shit-on, bitch *and* bite! And exactly, dearest JK, what are you doing here? Could it be....why, yes, I think it is....bitching and moaning. Pot. Kettle. Black. If you don't get it, too bad. moonlight wrote: I commented on his killfiling of me, including a comment about the Dominant Master *cough* signature at the bottom. It took off from there. So, in some sense, he's deserved everything he's gotten. JKay wrote: And all over a signature. Hmmm...you are easy to piss off aren't you! No, dear. You clipped out the part where I said that it was over me flaming him for being careless about what he thinks is safe for a slave. Creative editing is so much fun. Let's see what I can do.... JKay wrote: I am clueless, a troll you have plonked or killfiled, who posted stuff you find vile and disgusting. I am a bad speller and poor grammer user. I am easy to piss on aren't I! There, wasn't that fun? I can do it to. moonlight wrote: No, on what each individual happens to perceive as correct. It just so happens that the "community" that we have here in SSBB is unified on some things. That creates a social "structure". Violating those social structures has a price. JKay wrote: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww................! Who is to say this social structure is satisfactory to everyone and who is to say it couldn't stand some changes?! No one at all. If you feel that it needs changing, by all means, try. You don't seem to be doing a very good job, though, from where I'm watching. Usually, changing structure means getting people onto your side, and you've pretty well alienated most people here. Howling about how it needs changing won't do squat from where you are. moonlight wrote: DM or FH or whatever we're calling him at the moment, posted that he thought that it was perfectly OK to have a slave undress in a parking deck that had not been checked out. That it was ok to endanger that slave because she is his property, regardless of what might happen, to prove that he was in charge. JKay wrote: Not the mention the extreme adrenaline flow and fear aspect of it. Of course this all depends on what kind of parking garage - it could be for example an apartment garage at some very late evening when the possibility for getting caught would be very, very low, but just enough chance to make it exciting. Yeah, and? I considered that stupid. I said so. Which is my right. Which is what precipitated him killfiling me and starting the whole thing. Please note, I couldn't care *less* if he killfiled me. Everyone else seems to have found it amusing though, and sought to educate him. moonlight wrote: *Regardless* of whether or not he has the "right" to do that, I consider that wrong. JKay wrote: So do you think that he has the right even if you think it might be wrong? Um. That answer would be yes. I would, however, warn people about the behavior that I think was wrong. As is my right. Which I exercised. He can do whatever he wants. So can I. Which includes warning people of dangers that someone else either didn't feel was there, didn't consider, or just didn't *care* about. JKay wrote: What I am getting at here is that could you trust someone even at that level knowing that you deferred all applicable responsibilities to him to take care of for such a scene to take place? We've been here before, JK, and my stance hasn't changed in the slightest. I trust the doms that I am with implicitly. If Argentium chose to do something like this, we would do it. I would trust him to keep me safe. Do I think he would do it? No. And I selected a partner that holds the same values that I do. So what? JKay wrote: It is isn't about what you want - but what he wants from you that matters No, JK, that isn't *ALL* that matters. There are two people in any relationship. Even a D/s one that is a lifestyle relationship. Guess what? You are responsible for your slave and her happiness and her needs. It's not all about getting just what is important to you. What a selfish, cloddish way to live your life. JKay wrote: and if he is willing to take the risk and all that comes with it and that your relationship has progressed to that trust level - isn't it to your best interest and desire to be found pleasing to him? He isn't taking the risk here, JK. The slave is. No matter how long or loud you beat that drum, SHE is the one that will be arrested if she's caught. Not you. HER. A Master that cared about his slave would *not* put her in the position of being arrested for HIS kicks. I'm certain that I'm pleasing to my Master. In fact, I'm more than certain. And I would expect that any Master that found his slave pleasing would not endanger her just to get his panties in a twist. JKay wrote: Or do you honestly think that he would be, every single time it is approached or wanted by him, a jerk upon which you, his property, can refuse? *smiles sweetly* I have the brains to pick a Master that isn't a jerk. A Master that cares about his slave's well being. And a Master that would not endanger his slave simply so he could blow his wad into his twisted little panties. JKay wrote: And if so under what circumstances - and not speaking of just your present relationship? I have said on more than one occasion that what Argentium and I do is decided by him. Not me. moonlight wrote: Not *only* can it give the slave a police record, JKay wrote: You are assuming that they would get caught. No, I am assuming that the possibility that they might get caught exists. Which it does. It is up to the people involved to evaluate that risk. JKay wrote: Can you really assume that will happen every time? No. Can you really assume that it *won't* happen sometime? JKay wrote: Isn't that part of the suspense and adrenaline flow that you both may want? Me? No. I get my adrenaline kicks in other ways, thanks. So does Tiger. He doesn't find it a kick to contemplate going down and bailing me out if we happen to get caught. Silly him. JKay wrote: Isn't that about building unconditional trust and gaining ultimate freedom? You insist that anyone that evaluates risk doesn't have ultimate freedom. And that I, in particular, don't. You're wrong on both counts. JKay wrote: Isn't doing such a scene meant by the Master to give the illusion, however real feeling to the slave, that she is in grave danger and that he finds this to be exciting for him - building on her fears and anticipation of the unknown - all the reasons for doing such a scene - when in fact he has checked out and secured the scene for the event to happen without her knowing that he has? There are safer ways of going about creating that image and keeping the slave in the dark completely. Risking a run in with the law is just stupid, plain and simple. moonlight wrote: it can damage their relationship, her mental state, and a host of other things. JKay wrote: Could do all those things yes - but by the time they have done some of these things the chances are less likely. There is always something that one can get into trouble for when it comes to BDSM even under the safest environment. A part of doing BDSM is the risk of it all. A part of BDSM is keeping the risk as low as possible to get the most bang for your buck. I think it's sheer stupidity to play with permanently damaging a person. There is too much risk in leaving them in some state of permanent hurt. I don't call that smart. Or caring. Or loving. But hey, that's just me.