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wickedNwild wrote:
As I'm reading about slaves and their devotion (specifically the ones in
24/7 type relationships). I can't help but wonder how a person who has
given up everything, all control and all decision making to his/her master
can go back to self sufficiency after a long term relationship lived that
way?
I think that one of the mistakes that you may be making in your thinking is
this: 24/7 does not imply that I have to give up *myself* in order to be
slave to another person. In most of the cases that I have seen of *healthy*
24/7 relationships, that aspect of control and d/s is in the "background"
a lot of times. We do not run around continually on our knees or bowing
and scraping. Most of the time it's flopped on the couch curled up together
watching tv or playing computer games....just like other couples.
Yes, that influence is there. When we're watching tv, maybe he will poke
or pinch or twist or bite or whatever....but maybe not. :) We dont'
necessarily run around decrying "Oh, Master, blahblahblahMasterblahblahblah."
It's usually more along the lines of, "Tiger, did you take your Allegra
this morning? No? Well *GO* DO *IT!*". And *this* from the slave
half of the pairing.
Yes, he has the *right* to make all my decisions for me (and recently
made a whopper for me...two actually...), but that doesn't mean that
he always does or will. I work a full time job, have my own hobbies,
that occasionally intersect with his, and a whole lot of love. Oh....
and some spectacular d/s and s/m on occasion. :)
wickedNwild wrote:
I mean at best of times finding yourself or reinventing yourself after a
break up is difficult.....I can't really imagine how a long term slave being
discarded....(must happen just like it does in regular relationships)
Yeah, it can. And the slave can toss him out on his ear, too. Just like in
regular relationships. :) As when anyone breaks up, it's hard. But, no
harder for me, as a slave in a 24/7 relationship than it would be if I was
vanilla and had gone through a divorce. Which I have done. When you
identify with *any* partner deeply, it's hard to separate back out again,
regardless of what type of relationship you had.
wickedNwild wrote:
can go
on. After a while...don't you lose your ability to even think in terms of
decision making....not to mention the loss of self confidence that's bound
to happen following a long period of letting someone else decide everything
for you!!
Please don't take this the wrong way, but I think you have a highly idealized
version of slavery that you're assuming that all 24/7 relationships are
based around. Generally, what *you* are ascribing to 24/7 isn't the case.
Sure, there are some...I've not met too many of them. I still make most
of my own decisions. Most. And loss of self-confidence has nothing to do
with making decisions. It has everything to do with your partner being
either encouraging or discouraging of you and what you are. Which, also,
can happen in a vanilla relationship. Generally, it's called abuse, in
and amongst vanillas.
wickedNwild wrote:
I'm not saying this in a judgmental way at all....to each his/her
own....it just seems to me that a master leaving a slave behind would be
more devastating than the break up of a regular relationship. Am I wrong?
I don't think you're being judgmental. I just don't think you have a grasp
on what happens in most 24/7 relationships. They're a hard concept to grasp.
The short of that is, yes, in many cases you *are* wrong. :) (And, it's not
always the slave that's left, anyway. :)
wickedNwild wrote:
Also....which in your opinion is more common in a 24/7 relationship break
up....master leaving the slave, vice versa or 50/50 as in any other
relationships?
From what I've seen, it's about 50/50. With some Master's it's more that the
slaves come to their senses and realize what a loser the person is. A lot
are mutual breakups, too, with each having grown in separate directions that
just aren't working together anymore.
wickedNwild wrote:
I'm wondering if slaves invest more in such a relationship and therefore are
less incline to leave it behind than a master does?
Nope, not really. At least, *I* expect my partner to be as invested in the
relationship as I am. When that doesn't happen, it's time to re-evaluate the
relationship. On *either* side. An imbalance in either direction will lead
to pain and hurt. Which is why I feel that it needs to be a rational
decision.
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