How Does a Slave Survive a Breakup II  (06/15/99)
   
 
    moonlight wrote:
    Yes, that influence is there. When we're watching tv, maybe he will poke or pinch or twist or bite or whatever....but maybe not. :) We dont' necessarily run around decrying "Oh, Master, blahblahblahMasterblahblahblah."

    It's usually more along the lines of, "Tiger, did you take your allegra this morning? No? Well *GO* DO *IT!*". And *this* from the slave half of the pairing.

    wickedNwild wrote:
    Ok...so what is the definition of 24/7? What's the definition of being a slave then?
24/7 is defined by each couple to mean what they wish it to, in reality. In general, it means that one person in the pairing is owned by the other 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Each couple will have their own rules and boundaries and needs that will need to be addressed for them.

The *real* meaning for me is that I wear his collar every day. All day. And that he has the *right* to make whatever decisions he wishes to about what I will do. Because he has the right doesn't mean that he will always *exercise* the right. Most of the time, the d/s is "backgrounded"...there, but at a lower level than when playing or alone.
    moonlight wrote:
    Please don't take this the wrong way, but I think you have a highly idealized version of slavery that you're assuming that all 24/7 relationships are based around. Generally, what *you* are ascribing to 24/7 isn't the case. Sure, there are some...I've not met too many of them. I still make most of my own decisions. Most. And loss of self-confidence has nothing to do with making decisions. It has everything to do with your partner being either encouraging or discouraging of you and what you are. Which, also, can happen in a vanilla relationship. Generally, it's called abuse, in and amongst vanillas.

    wickedNwild wrote:
    I don't think I have an "idealized" version of slavery at all!!! I don't have one at all!! ;-)
*grin* Well, then it is a good place to start. Keep in mind that everyone will have a slightly different idea about what 24/7 is. Because each pair has different needs. And the slaves needs *do* need to be met.
    wickedNwild wrote:
    In what you describe..your life is no different than that of any regular couple.....so why refer to it as "slavery" then?
Because I am owned. It really *is* as simple as that. I have turned my life over to another person. He has allowed me to have parts of it back. He can take those away whenever he chooses. Some couples *do* have more rules than I do. Tiger doesn't particularly go for the "traditional" slave role. I'm in the process of writing a longish post that talks about who and what I am. It should be out in the next day or so. Look for it...it might tell you a little more about slaver and the 24/7...at least *one* couple's take on it.
    wickedNwild wrote:
    I thought (apparently wrongly) that being a slave was going a few steps beyond being submissive..in giving up all control on one's personal life!
It is. Sort of. :) Some people are owned as pets, some as submissives, some as slaves. We all have different names for close to the same thing. A submissive can say no to her dom. A slave, in the end, must abide by her Master's decisions. She can try to change his mind....but she must abide by them. (I use she, here, because I is one..:)
    wickedNwild wrote:
    Again...not being judgmental or trying to be argumentative...just ....humm...unclear on the definition I guess!
That's ok. People have been trying to define these things for years. And, really, I doubt that one concrete definition will ever be worked out. Nor, to my mind, should it. Slavery is very personal. So is submission. So is dominance.