How Does a Slave Survive a Breakup III  (06/17/99)
	moonlight wrote: Some people are owned as pets, some as submissives, some as slaves. We all have different names for close to the same thing. A submissive can say no to her dom. A slave, in the end, must abide by her Master's decisions. willowy wrote: I only have questions. How do you reconcile the idea of 'ownership' with the ability to walk out on any partner on any given time? I think that depends on the relationship. I have been given an order that I am to leave if Tiger tries to seriously damage me, despite the fact that it may be what he honestly wants to do at the time. Because, in a fully rational moment, he decided that he did *not* want me harmed. For many people, that permission is enough to cover it. For others, myself included, this order is *extremely* difficult. I really *don't* know that I have the words to explain to you where my head is that makes it so, but I will try....k? Bear with me. I know fully well, that I could walk out the door, out of his life, if the whim took me. I am capable of supporting myself and my pets, I have my own insurance (which I will address below), my own car, basically, I have the abilities to stand on my own if I *NEED* them. Knowing that allows me to let myself go completely. To turn over who I am to someone else. I don't stop being me, complete with faults and foibles. But I no longer own myself. What I do, where I go, who I see becomes the prerogative of the person I give myself too. That's the *START* of it. As time goes on, trust grows, some decisions are handed back, and I have the expectation that I am to make decisions that will please Tiger. Tiger has the responsibility to see that I am healthy and happy. And, since he knows me, he knows that that means having a job, friends, and hobbies that he may not be interested in. By allowing me to *do* those things... and he *could* deny them if he chose...the trust grows. Eventually, there comes a time when the submission will be tested. Because you will be asked to give up something that you *REALLY* want. For me, that thing was the little piece of me inside that just *knew* that the decisions were really mine to make. And the piece of me inside that stayed away from Tiger. Two weekends ago, Tiger chose to show me that the decision part of me really wasnt' mine. Because he *took* a decision away from me that I knew had the power to devastate me. What was it? The decision on whether or not we would use condoms. The mere idea of not throws me for a loop...it is, in my mind, one of the most intimate, invasive..... I don't really have the words to decribe what it does...suffice it to say that it was a huge decision, and damn it, I didn't get to make it. :) The other part that happened was that he forced the part of me that stays away from him to interact with him and then taught it that it would always lose.....only to him. :) There was always the chance, before then, that I *could* have walked out the door. And I think that he knew it. He let me ponder and twist about it for a long time and then chose to show me that I could not. At this point, it would be impossible for me to just walk out the door. I am able to discuss my needs if they are not being met, and if it is decided that I would be better off with someone else, that's totally different. But just picking up and leaving.....not an option. willowy wrote: Moreover, since your Master 'owns' you, which responsibilities has he assumed along with ownership? For example, a pet requires grooming, health care ... If it becomes too ill and expensive for maintenance, it can be put too sleep, not so with us slaves/submissives... : ). He has assumed the responsibility to make certain that all of my needs are met to the best of his ability. He is responsible for my happiness and well-being, for seeing that I continually grow in a direction that is good for me, for providing for me should I lose the job that I am at until such time as I can find another....a host of things. I would not be happy, I think, if I didn't have at least a part time job. I would go stir crazy. So, Tiger lets me work. It would be more accurate to say, though, that he cannot support four adults and a child solely on his salary without some amount of difficulty. So I and his other slave work. If we were without work for a time, we could make it. But it would be difficult. His wife stays at home and cares for the child (a full time job, in and of itself) and the home. Everything splits pretty neatly. I'm not sure what else you are looking for, really, but I'm willing to answer if you have more questions...