Slave Breakup - My Experience II  (06/23/99)
	moonlight wrote: "You know, I'd just *love* seeing you do the same to her..." That line, to a slave or submissive is tatamount to an order. And when you can't *do* it, it is a massive failure. Placing a slave in this type of position is not healthy. It eventually will lead to a loss of their sense of self. Joe Zeff wrote: Much better would be to add to that line, "...and if you ever feel that you want to, I'll be happy to watch. If you don't, I'll understand and not be disappointed; that's not for everybody and it may not be for you." Tiger and I have had a somewhat similar conversation. He's not against helping me over that barrier...but he feels that *I* have to choose when I want to try to get over it. I asked him what he would do if I came and said "I want to do this, but you're going to have to order me to." I don't remember exactly, but it was something to the effect of "I want you to try X, and we'll see what happens." Not looking for a specific conclusion or action. Just an order to try and that *any* attempt at trying would be a success, no matter how it worked out in the end. The key things here, though, are that it is something that he cannot evaluate for me. It has to come from me. And that if there *would* be an order, assuming condition 1, that there would not have to be a "successful" outcome. Or, rather, that *any* outcome would be successful.