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MsChiff123 wrote:
That's nice you have a *committed* relationship.
However, the fact that the two of you haven't made adjustments in your
own lives proves neither one of you are even ready for a 24/7
relationship...at this point.
Lawless wrote: Jumping Jesus, this statement just "proves" that you're compelled to
be judgemental about things without any evidence and any particular
knowledge of who, or what, is involved.
*heh* Considering how open my life has been in my time on ASB and SSB,
I *do* find it amusing, to an extent.
>Lawless wrote: They live in different homes in the same city, so this means that they
"haven't made adjustments in their lives"?!? Moving a thousand miles;
Errrr...it was around 500, but still quite a ways. :)
Lawless wrote: that's "not making adjustments"? "They're not even ready for a 24/7
relationship"? How very condescending of you, sweets - perhaps the
Well, in and of itself, moving doesn't indicate that. As others have
said, not everyone that lives together is in a 24/7. Tiger, however,
isn't really wired for anything but 24/7 in a relationship, as far
as I can tell. (Note, that *IS* my opinion. Tiger prolly has a
different one. My opinion is biased by my own relationship with
him...)
Lawless wrote: Here's a hint for you, one that others have given but that seems to've
eluded you : In D/s forum, "24/7" generally denotes a relationship in
which one person is the dominant and one the submissive, 24 hours a day,
7 days a week - that it isn't a set of roles they put on and take off
when they feel like it. Which would, I think, be made more difficult
when at a significant distance, and if there's devoted marriages also
involved - but certainly isn't impossible.
No, but it *is* extremely difficult. The longing to be *with* the
dom alone is like to kill you, sometimes. And, realistically, I
would have hated.....*DID* hate.....the time that I spent living
where I did. It was only 4 months, but it seemed like an eternity...
Lawless wrote: And another hint, about how separate residences might not be any sign
at all of people not having made adjustments in their lives to be
together : a couple is in love - but one owns and cherishes her two
dogs, while the other is badly allergic to them. So one moves, and
gets a home just two doors down the street so they can spend as much
time together as possible without the one always being ill from the
pets.
In our case, it's not allergies. It's the fact that she doesn't
*like* dogs and I believe was bitten by one when younger. She is
willing to have the dog around, provided it's an outdoor dog...which
it was before I got him. That won't be a problem. Obviously,
living in an apartment/townhouse won't let me keep the dog as an
outdoor dog.
Tiger and his family are definitely cat people. But even Tiger
has gotten used to what he *ahem* lovingly refers to as my
"DummyDog". (Sumo is *not* the brightest bulb in the box...)
I don't understand how someone that doesn't have the monetary
means to move is disqualified from being 24/7. If we *had*
the money to build a house, it would most likely already
have been put into process. Nor am I quite clear on how
an adult is supposed to just *leap* into an existing family
and not have an adjustment time. For *everyone*.
But, those are my own mental hurdles to get over in the furtherance
of understanding...
>Lawless wrote: Or does the one person have to shoot her dogs to demonstrate enough
"adjustments" in her life for you?
Believe me, there have been days when I've *thought* about
shooting the dog. Particularly the day that he chewed up
about half of my VRC movie tapes...or the day he chewed the
remote for the cable box into about 900 pieces. (No, I'm not
exaggerating)
I adopted him knowing he was neglected and most likely abused and
that he would have behavior problems. But, he saved my life on
more than one occasion right before and after my divorce, when the
depression was spiraling in on me pretty hard. The only reason
I *had* to not kill myself was that there would be no one to take
care of the dog and cat.
We've overcome *most* of the chewing.....but me getting him a large
kennel to keep him in when I'm not at home. He seemed to have
missed not having his own little "cave". So, he tried to make
caves out of the table and chairs and such. He *still* insists on
sitting under something. I know that the chewing is him being anxious
about me not coming home. Which is a good sign....it means he's
attached to me...after being neglected that's an improvement.
Now, if I could just get it through his head that I'm coming
home....:)
Ack! I'll stop going on about the dog......:)
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