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louise wrote, in part:
there is plenty of pressure available from other submissives not to accept a poly relationship, in my experience.
Serion wrote:
Hmmm... Now, that's interesting. |turning to the lurking gallery| Has anybody else encountered this sort of pressure? Have you ever been curious about poly and had somebody warn you away?
As someone that's been around both sides of the block, let me put in a hearty "hell yes!".
I've had subs of my ex come to me and say that people have told them that they should stop seeing him because I will always be first in his life (obviously, not a given in this case....) and that they will always be second best. Never enough. If they were then he would leave me for her.
And, I've been told that I shouldn't settle for being second best because I deserve to have my *own* dom that's *just* mine. That I don't *have* to share and that holds me as the most important thing in his life.
The thing is, I'm not certain whether I hear it more from doms or subs. I think it's about a 50/50 split. The doms, in a lot of instances, have wanted the subs for themselves. Or haven't understood polyamory/polyfidelity and thought that the sub was "settling" for something.
The subs, on the other hand, I think often were intimidated by the idea that they could *share* with other women. Oddly enough, I've found that male subs don't have this problem as much. I'm sure it exists to an extent, but from what I've seen it's a peculiarly femsub problem.
I know that I've been told that I *can't* be a feminist because I do d/s as the sub. I'm a traitor to helping women be strong. And I'm a traitor for settling for a man that wants more than one woman. And a *damn* strong willed one, at that. Tiger knows what he wants and he runs things. That pisses off the feminists I know more than anything.
Though, I have to admit, you wouldn't have been able to tell it last night. *snrk*. Tiger was sitting around bemused while I, his other slave, and his wife were all talking about health, periods, and annoyances of same, and basically bitching at the whole concept. :)
I think we definitely had to classify last night as a "girl's night". Though he *did* have some "boy time" cause we went to see Wing Commander. :) *throws her arm dramatically across her forehead* The things that subs must put up with to make their doms happy......
