- moonlight wrote:
I've debated and debated......started this post half a dozen times...and still it sits here. I often wonder what possessed us to even pick up the pen, so to speak, and start scribbling away.
Tobie wrote:
To understand it, to get rid of it, to share it, to Ugol it. To be cleansed by seeing it in black and white, to examine it in a more impersonal way after you've released it and no longer have any control of how it looks or how others see it. To hope that someone else has felt it, or knows it, or at least understands it.
To vent before we short out, to let the energy release in a way that one hopes will have some positive outcome no matter how much it hurt to get there. To grow and learn ::soft smile:: At least that's what works for me.
Posts that I write can sometimes drag me through the hell of the emotions that I am trying to deal with or figure out... and I sit here and do it in front of you all. :)
Maybe I'm just an emotional masochist/exhibitionist. That *could* be it...
- moonlight wrote:
We always seem to either see newbies that have questions or problems or glowing reports of what we have done on any given weekend. And I ask myself, is it that we take such time in exploring what *could* go wrong that very few things ever do? Or do we just not like to talk about the bad days and nights that we have...the scenes that go wrong in ways that we can't quite put our fingers on.
Tobie wrote:
Some times those scenes are too deeply affecting to just "let it out" about them, then by the time we get more comfortable with them, the time has passed when it would have flown to the page with out making corrections along the way. Sometimes, we just don't want to be seen as some one that could have done something sooo stupid. Things go wrong with me, and I usually do post about them. But I'm lucky in that I don't have to read it till later and I pretend I'm only talking to the handful of people that I know pay any attention to what I say to begin with. *Thats* called self denial. I can be really good at that to get some of my posts from my puter to yours. ::soft smile::
Most of those new people won't have much to say for a while... but maybe, someday, they'll come here and post like I do now, and I'll read those posts and say wow...:) And they'll help those people that follow them...to repay what they learned from me.
Are we back to Narcissism again? :)
- moonlight wrote:
It's not that we lack understanding of ourselves...if anything, we, as a group, tend to over-analyze things. I don't think this is bad, per se.....just that it sometimes seems out of balance.
Tobie wrote:
All of life seems out of balance at times. It makes it really frustrating when some small thing that we may not even readily see, can unbalance our filled apple cart.
- moonlight wrote:
Well, today seems to be my day to over-analyze and talk about the things that can go wrong in subtle ways...
Tobie wrote:
It must have been hard to do this, thank you for taking time to teach me with an example from your own life.
- moonlight wrote:
There are warning signs and there are WARNING SIGNS... sometimes the little things get overlooked in the tumultuous play that sometimes happens. We create high expectations and come crashing down when they don't work out the way that we dream of...we overlook something that is small, thinking that it will go away or that it just wasn't what we thought it was...
Tobie wrote:
Yes, I've done that. Hoped that it would "fix" it's self as the situation progressed.
But that's usually not the case. Particularly when you are talking about (um...not to start another flamewar) people that have the permanent power exchange as a part of their relationship. It's no better or worse than those that do limited d/s...but the dynamics can be vastly different sometimes.
- moonlight wrote:
Despite having a fair bit of experience with group play/sex, I seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot with it, somehow. Maybe it was going out and doing some work at the Day of Caring and doing some yard work for a free clinic that threw me off, a bit. It might have been the slightly strained muscles....maybe it was the heat or the sun... maybe it was the Sudafed that I had been taking for the last couple days to hold me off until I can get to the doctor for new allergy meds.....
Tobie wrote:
In all actuality, the best hind sight is still going to be in the eyes of the buck, not the doe. (Hind, female deer) You could question yourself for months and may never be sure exactly what was "off". I know several ladies that swear certain times of the month make things hurt more, etc...
- Tobie wrote:
Thank you so much , again, for sharing from the heart. Hopefully I can put your bad experience to good use in my own life and use it to remind me to let Gary know when things aren't *just right* so that he will know where to take us from there.
