For some reason it's always late at night when I sit down to write. Or when the unstoppable urge to bare myself to the world at large hits. Since I seem unable to exercise any type of control at all over this strange exhibitionistic streak I seem to have, it's time for another journey through what passes for the hills and valleys of my brain.
The last day or so has been one of strange changes and odd realizations. What are those you ask? Well. Let me tell you about them. (Run while you can...)
First and foremost in my brain is how people can delude themselves. Into deciding that they know what's good for them and what's bad for them. Into thinking that they know the reasonings behind another person's actions without knowing or asking, leading themselves into assumptions that are often wildly mistaken. Sometimes amusingly so.
As an example. Today is the first day of the rest of my online life without certain staples that have been present in the past. This is a good thing, since it provides more time and room for personal growth. It's also somewhat sad as the reasons for that change were somewhat avoidable. For many people, the idea of chosen family, kith, and kin are very strong. What's done to one is done to all. And when one member of the family is violated, the rest of the family will respond. Not in anger. Not in hatred. But in a simple protective mode.
What outsiders don't often understand is that to such families, Duty, Honor, and Clan mean something. Family may fight and feud and try to kill each other in and amongst themselves...however, that doesn't mean that any outsider can wander along and try to hurt a family member. That's bound to bring about a strong united front.
What's unfortunate is that a strong, united front with deliberate actions is often mistaken for "acting in anger" or "without thought". I can assure those people that have made the assumption that I acted in anger and without thought that they are mistaken. Every comment that I have made in the last 24 hours has been thought out and planned. The consequences of those comments and statements, and the actions that went wit them, were well known before the first comment was made. The decision to comment was not made in haste or anger. It was a thought out response to an attack on a family member.
Which leads us to the concepts of Duty, Honor, and Clan themselves. What are they? Why are they so important? And why is it so difficult to comprehend that those three concepts lead to reasoned application of "force" (for many values of force) and not acting in haste or anger?
Starting with Clan....Clan is a group of people, at its simplest. But it's far more than that. A Clan is a group of people that have close ties to one another. They care about the ins and outs of each other lives. They often interfere and nag the other Clan members. No one's business is ever entirely private in a Clan. It's a noisy, busy, nosey family. One comprised of close ties between members with a variety of natures. Love, religion, initiation, adoption, the list goes on. Clan, and in particular Chosen Family, can be closer than blood kin are.
Even if you don't speak for years at a time, Chosen Family can pick up where they left off and carry on from there. You're never entirely alone when you are Clan. You may *WISH* you were, but that's a horse of a different color entirely.
And that brings us to Duty and Honor. When you accept the bonds of Family or Clan, you gain the benefits that come with it. Companionship, support, love, caring...the list goes on. But with those benefits come obligations and duties as well. To provide the same back to your Family. To protect the Family. To defend the Family from outsiders when necessary. To not do so brings dishonor not only to yourself and your vows but to the Clan as well. And what are we without honor or our word? Something lesser for certain.
Now. I know that many of you reading this are starting to scream "CULT BEHAVIOR!!" To the extent that any closely tied group can be compared to that, I suppose you may have a point. But I also will vehemently disagree that such behavior is always categorically bad. We cannot exist without ties to other people. We interact with them on a daily basis. Unless you're a sociopath incapable of forming bonds with other people, they will happen.
And so, today, I have the support of my Clan...my Chosen Family...who understand the actions that I've taken in the last 24 hours. Actions that were a long time coming. Actions that have closed certain doors permanently. And opened up entirely different ones. Growth and progress.
And Family.
